I’m starting to catch these reminders on instance #2 instead of #3, 5 or 7 and before I’m sitting in an 8×10 cell. I prayed over the past few years about God helping me pay less “stupid tax” and learn lessons an easier way, so it is super-encouraging to see this start to happen.

This week’s “theme” seems to be the 12th step of Celebrate Recovery:

Having had a spritual experience as a result of these (12) steps, we try to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently, But watch yourself, or you may also be tempted” Galatians 6:1

It started off with me pondering God’s direction in my life.

• I have been struggling with producing what I consider true fruit in my career – am I going to right the ship?
• Is my career going to morph into something else?
• If my career morphs, how does it change – is it a sub-field of my current one, or is it something radically different?
• It seems like God is turning my strengths into weaknesses these days and using my weaknesses as his strengths. Very frustrating, as I put a great deal of time into developing what I assume are strengths. However, I’ve noted pretty much everyone God uses in the Bible had serious flaws. Those were what God used to bring himself glory and also bestow some residual glory on them, so I shouldn’t be surprised. I should even be encouraged.
• Is God going to make sense of a few overtly spiritual and personal experiences I’ve had over the past couple years and do they come into play with these other issues? The experiences were certainly weird and cool at the same time and definitely God, but could be interpreted in several ways. Unless God is bringing someone into my life who has some insight, then I have to take it as God wanted me to just know he has a plan and loves me. The details at this point aren’t that important though, regardless of how much I want a complete picture. God dropped into my heart the week before how God is looking for people to say “Yes, God” before knowing the question God is asking.

Sharing Christ with People I Know Very Well…

Next I was sporadically coming in contact with a person I know who has been struggling mightily over the past few years with something spiritual in nature. I experienced many of the same struggles, though they manifested themselves differently in my life.

After watching myself and listening to others first going through a 12-step program, I’ve realized it is extremely difficult for people to connect to other people’s stories unless there are direct correlations at first. (e.g. I struggle with alcohol and so did they).

Once a person is in a Christ-centered 12-step program (or perhaps any 12-step – I’m just speaking to my experience), God starts dropping truth in their heart, where they realize the root of literally any issue in people’s lives has the same root. This root crosses geography, culture, language, sex, and any other division we’ve created to break down our world into digestible chunks.

For the aforementioned reason, any previous efforts to make a connection turned up nothing. Of course I usually did it with at least a beer in my system so not sure what I was really expecting – not saying God hates beer. Just that it impairs judgement which is needed in its entirety for delicate matters like discerning God’s wisdom.

So, even though I identify with this person’s struggle, I don’t know how to help other than pray. Neither does my wife. Neither does anyone else who knows them.

So instead of praying for them, I decided to avoid them – smart, huh?

Revealing My “Fear of Man”

God then dropped a message from J.R. Vassar into my ipod via the Village Church podcast.

The subject was “fear of man” – and covered all these different ways we show fear of man (hint, most don’t have any usual evidence of “fear” so they go unchecked). I wasn’t surprised by this – had realized this before, but it rekindled those embers God previously laid in my heart.

The part of the message that ended up sticking in my gut was how I am not opening my heart to God to “be used to bring this good news to others.” My fear didn’t involve this person rejecting me.

It was that they weren’t going along with my idea so I didn’t feel powerful or useful. Ugh.

Sharing Christ with Neighbors, Coworkers, and Others in My Circle of Daily Influence…

Sure, I share on a blog – but this is easy. You and I will probably never meet this side of heaven. How about my neighbors? How about my co-workers? Shoot, how about even family?

And I’m not talking about handing out some tracts or books, or giving them the save you from hell story. I’m talking about letting people into my life. If they then reveal they are struggling, as everyone is and will usually reveal if we are in a deep enough relationship with them, then just sharing what God has been doing over the past few years.

Sure, I’m not a “good person” now (nor will I ever be). I’m also not above falling back into any of the multitude of ways I try to substitute for a relationship with God that end up in compulsive and destructive habits or harmful acts. Even though I have been set free from sin in Christ, I still give in to free will. God even points out we will all do this all our lives. Yet he still calls us to be willing to be used by him according to his good purpose – sharing the gospel of Christ and to give glory to God.

God does the rest. It isn’t my job to come up with a stirring oratory, a bullet-proof case for God, or even to be responsible for the other person’s actions when I simply share my experience with God.

My “fear of man” manifested in everything from excuses, isolation or aloofness, anger, and prideful wasting of time on frivolous activities surrounding my own temporary happiness keep me from being used by God.

Finally God used the Friday-night message at Celebrate Recovery which happens (of course) to be about this very message God has been drumming into my head the past week.

Okay, that’s reminder #3 in just a few short days – time to let God make some changes…

Next Steps for Sharing My Spiritual Experience Via a Christian 12-Step Program

I know there are a couple other CR ministries in town that are relatively new and lacking in people with experience to share their testimony. That would be an easy start since I’ve given my testimony in front of a decently-large crowd and lived to tell about it.

Other than that, I don’t know anything more than my answer needs to be “Yes”, and spend more time listening to God and spending less time on empty activity or even praying through a list of “God please help with ____ for (insert me or another person)”

There are times where I’ve done the “Yes”, and interesting… okay, amazing things happened in my life. If I’m not letting God stretch me, then I shrink – simple as that.

Intimidated About Sharing God’s Story of Restoration from Your Mistakes?

It’s probably more than you or I realize on a given day. That good news should be shared in whatever way God “tells” us.

God doesn’t want us to wait until this day when we have it all figured out before we’re qualified to share about the grace and mercy through Jesus Christ. All we have to be is one step ahead of the person who God puts in front of us with a need in their life.

Sometimes being “steps behind” others still gives us room to share. This is because the whole “step ahead” or “step behind” is bogus. This perception is based on our own clouded judgment of another person’s life. I have no idea what a person is really struggling with on a given day or over the course of a week, month, or year. Even my failures where God picked me back up is an encouragement.

Sharing comes in many packages, too. For some it is a warm meal, a hug, or a listening ear.

However, watch out for the following. Many people use non-verbal sharing of Christ’s love as an excuse for never sharing the good news of the gospel. The root of this is fear of man, covered up in a cloak of charity, compassion… and denial. Beware of this – if God isn’t doing something in your life that freaks you out a bit, that is probably a huge red alert that something is wrong in the relationship.

How Has God Restored You from Screw-Ups?

I appreciate your prayers that God will help my faith to be a “Yes, God” person while I live out my days and trust him with the rest. You can also add your prayer requests or experiences in sharing God’s work to restore the trainwrecks you’ve made in your life.

Let’s keep the comments for this post based on sharing God’s fixing your mess rather than evangelism as a whole. Like Christ,  this blog is more focused on the unrighteous than the righteous.

Thanks in advance for everyone’s transparency and honesty today and am excited about the good work he is continuing to do in your hearts until the end of time.

Okay, so I’m guessing this is more awkward for me jumping back on the blog but I watched this song probably a good 6-9 months ago and really dug it. If anyone reading this blog knows me on a super-personal level then you’d know Phil Wickham would probably not be an artist you’d find in my MP3… but the Lord works in mysterious ways. Between this, the next song & others, I’ve been blessed.

or if you’re one of those folks that don’t like the acoustic/live gig, try this one

And yes, I’m aware of the other versions. Jeff Buckley rocks & it’s a shame because he went way too soon. If you are a follower of Christ or even pondering that decision, it is easy to see the sincerity in what Phil is singing about.

or enjoy some live flavor – just fast forward a minute or two. Song hits at 3:00 but you want at least a 30 sec lead-in.

While dorking around the web, I run across ideas like Meetup.com. Tell them what you are interested in and find immediately everyone in your area to a particular mile radius that is also interested, and organize  meetings. The site even comes with pictures and a creepy ability to add comments to just about anyone’s profile. It’s place for people with all kinds of random interests where they simply never would have met people back in the day without working out the six degrees of separation on their entire metro area.

This service can also provide ministry experiences I never really though of before. Let’s look at one more in-depth, but we’ll keep it fairly anonymous to protect the innocent.

I live in an area that that rhymes with Farleston, Mouth Farolina. Where it actually is in the US doesn’t really matter. All you need to know is that there are people there that are hurting and the goal here is to do some serving. And I don’t mean this way.

• Starting a church? – Toss it out on Meetup.com. You’ll get all kinds of crackpots responding to your profile, but isn’t that what you were looking for, anyway? My church didn’t do an effective job of screening me at the door, and I’m still there 4 years later.
• People new to a town – Every church I talk to swears the only way people end up at their church is by personal invitation from a current member. What about the people that don’t know their church members?
• Wanting to minster to the hurting? The hurting have groups. They’re not usually grouped by the struggle itself, so they’re a little more challenging to find. Let’s say I have a chronic illness – our town has a group dedicated to people with chronic illnesses supporting each other. Great place to build friendships of those in similar circumstance. Naturally there may be some opportunities to share Christ with your friends.
• Wanting to start a pagan parenting group? 17 Pagan Parents in just the small suburb of where I live signed up to meet when the moon is right and Pan the goat God requires our worship for a good oyster season.

Plenty of reasons the Lord gave us the Internet – it’s great to see people using it instead of just calling it an evil porn factory or 100% filled with lies. From what I remember in history classes, “the church” hasn’t been all that hot on people reading the Bible for themselves at times. Serious thanks to the Lord for the Web, Martin Luther and every other person in every other denomination of the body of Christ who has worked to remove human idols from the equation of God + man.

But wouldn’t it be great to get a few more people into the light and accompanying freedom in Christ?

• Some are out there looking for answers and have a hard time believing it could happen anywhere having to do with Christianity. I was there so I know where they are at.
• Others are in church right now and have no idea they’re sick. Or they do but aren’t doing anything about it. I go to a rockin’ church full of sinners where 99% of the membership could be in Celebrate Recovery according to the pastors, yet only 1% go. 1/4 of our Celebrate Recovery members are actually from other churches because they are too embarassed to ask for help there. If I was a swearing man, I’d be throwing in a choice adjective to ask what the ___ is up with this story?

So you’re tracking with me here – removing pride and being willing to dive into a sea of pain so Christ can rescue us is a difficult message. It won’t be a church-wide small group study like a purpose-driven. You probably won’t see it on “1000 churches day of prayer,” or whatever. This is a message that is apparently even more difficult than what we’ve deemed to be the fullness of the gospel, because people believe Jesus lived but still want to keep their bag ‘o vomit. I do, at least.

The experiment will be this.

I’ve done a few posts on this blog with popular subject matter. They are of marginal value and I’m not one of those charismatic types but they do have an ability to get ranked in search engines for people looking for that subject matter. In fact, about 1/3 of the monthly traffic to this blog comes looking for sermons by “x” pastor or info about “x” ministry. Most leave in under 30 seconds. Some stay…

I’ll be posting about recovery-related themes and will not relent on the schedule for this, but you may see some posts that are a bit off-topic. This is my “Christian bait”. I’m hoping to catch us a couple Christians with some problems. My lures will consist of popular Christian pastors, ministries, bands, whatever is biting.

Should be an interesting experiment. Right now the blog gets about 4,000 visitors a month. Not saying that to brag because the site ranks as the 1,194,000th most visited site in the Alexa rankings. Just picking a random target, but I’d like to see this get to 10,000 visitors/month. You know what happens then?

• suppose 1% of the extra visitors read other posts and thought about where God is wanting to bring them and what he wants to free them from.
• Let’s then say 10% of that 1% pursues it right now (God’ll corral the rest of them later)

That would be 6 people every month whose lives and future generations’ would be forever touched by the love of Christ by seeking him through Christ-centered recovery. I’m thinking this number could be higher because there are a good amount of readers from countries where they have not become fat and happy (jaded?) in their faith like us Americans. People actually being persecuted like the Chinese (#2 on my web stats), and those in Muslim nations where even viewing this site could be dangerous.

I’ll update the progress now and then. God can do cool things with even the seemingly most mundane skills – just wanted to throw out what is on my heart and let you know my ADD-ish tendencies aren’t distracting us from following this road of recovery with Christ.

If you own a blog, I’d love to hear from you – don’t worry, I’m not asking you to do any work whatsoever. I may ask if you would link to a post on my blog. I’ll explain as we go along. Just contact me through the contact form and let me know you’re interested in using craftiness and guile to spread the gospel (disclaimer: I’m using dangerously heavy levels of sarcasm so consider before wasting a good email to the editor)

be blessed!

Our child usually sleeps through the night but had been waking up recently but we chalked it up to a hectic Holiday schedule… and apparently we also bought into the pervasively negative clanging gong of other parents who were telling us that we were “just lucky” (even though we took a class and worked very hard with our daughter to develop good sleeping habits) and that our luck would surely run out soon. They still have a chance to revel in our misery though, since we do plan on having a couple more kids

Our daughter has a great disposition and doesn’t cry unless she is tired or hungry, so who knows when we would have taken her to the doctor? When she ran a substantially high fever?

So we give praise to God that he can tip us off with things like rashes to uncover deeper problems. I have a friend that said they can give thanks for their current debilitating injury because it forced them to slow down and turn their heart truly over to the care of Christ.

This isn’t pollyanna, positive-thinking folks – we’re talking about a very real God, very real problems, and a long-term positive impact on people’s lives that takes a great deal of patience and maturity. I hope I can be half as faithful as my little baby in her trust of two newbie parents and as my friend who is lying on their couch praising god in their inmost thoughts

have a blessed day!

The 1st year of the builder’s warranty on my house is about to expire, so they’re fixing all the little things that cropped up as the home settles. One of those is the hardwood floors – was a loose board which could develop into a safety hazard over time.

My wife and I marked the floor so we knew which board to have them work on, but when when I heard the guy pull up for the appointment, I looked over and the tape was gone. My immediate thought was not nice – thought things like, “Wouldn’t you figure the one time a contractor shows up early…” and other “woe is me-isms”

He came in and for some reason the board wasn’t immediately obvious. The humidity had just dropped significantly so maybe the board settled back in. So I didn’t waste his trip (and look like an idiot), I scrambled around started knocking on the boards. In the process I found 3 other boards that needed to be fixed!

I’d like to tell you that I prayed some wonderful prayer like, “Jesus, please help me find this board so I don’t waste this guy’s trip” or “Jesus, please help my incessant whining,” but I didn’t. God helped me anyway and worked a series of circumstances so the house was fixed correctly.

Dedicating My Home to the Lord

Back when the house was built, we actually prayed a blessing over the plot. At the time I felt like a little silly, but you know what? Our house turned out awesome! Some of our neighbors had all kinds of problems but the builder did a nearly perfect job on ours. That certainly doesn’t reflect on my attention to detail or negotiating ability – I’m actually the guy who struggles with blowing up when conflict arises. I am 100% confident that the Lord helped us with this, when that wasn’t really our intention when we dedicated it.

What kind of prayer was it? I don’t remember for sure, but we walked around and prayed that this home would be set apart for the Lord’s work, and that he would give us wisdom to raise our children and entertain guests in a manner that would be pleasing to him and fulfill his purpose. We still have quite a ways to go in walking that out, but there’s time, and the Lord is patient.

Who cares about fixing hardwood…

Sure, this is a trivial situation, but isn’t that what 99% of life is in between those dramatic moments? God cares about everything, and no detail is too small for him – his ability to multitask is limitless So many times I put the “god part” of life in one bucket, and then there’s the “rest of life” bucket. God wants it all in one bucket and will show us how to dig through it.

So hopefully my story encourages you. God helps us even when we don’t ask (probably work out better if we did, though), and God always works things for good, even if we don’t understand the why or how. I’ve seen it in situations that immediately resolve, and I’ve seen it in situations that take years to unfold.

Have a blessed day!

I thought more about those feelings because it seemed like there was more God was trying to show me. A year or two ago, I quickly would have dismissed those thoughts of inadequacy as lies of the enemy. If the thoughts I was having were “you’re worthless,” “you’re a failure,” or “God can’t use you,” then perhaps that may be the case. The sadness I felt certainly wasn’t of God, but here’s a “what if,” for you.

What if God was pointing out my limitations in a forthright manner, but I then went on from there on my own power to wallow in self-pity? What if God shines the light on my accomplishments (or lack thereof) in times when I have been drifting from him? For some reason I was unable to shake off those feelings of inadequacy – was that because my faith in God was weak, or because God was making a point that I am dependent on him to carry out his plan for my life and those whose lives mine intersects with?

In the old days, shepherds would actually break the leg of lambs that consistently disobeyed their voice. This wasn’t because shepherds were sadistic, but rather because that was a very hostile environment to an essentially defenseless sheep. The shepherd would then literally carry the lamb on his back until the leg was healed. In that time, the lamb would learn the shepherd’s voice and also learn total dependence. Maybe this is a similar situation, but instead of breaking my leg, maybe God was merciful and just bruised my pride.

Yes… I struggle with pride, as I’m sure a few others out there do and if I brushed off those thoughts of failing in particular areas of my life as just “lies of the enemy,” maybe I’d keep going on in my life trying to do things according to my own plan and under my own power. What if sometimes, the voice saying “rah, rah, you can do it – you’re good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you,” is actually deceiving words of the enemy of our very soul?

It’s something to consider at least, when empowerment is the “in thing” and the self-help section of my local book store seems to overtake nearby aisles like kudzu.

So, I’ll count this experience as a “praise report” along with a word of caution. Just because the words I’m hearing aren’t rosy and sweet, doesn’t mean that it’s a lie. I’d say the determining factor should be in testing any word to see if it is from God, is to

1. Make sure it aligns with the word of God. It may take some study so we’re not taking selected verses out of context.
2. What is the fruit? If the fruit of believing a particular thought is that I am drawn into a closer relationship with God, then that is good. If I’m separated, then it’s from the enemy.

Though I still find it irksome that some people are selfish enough to leave a screaming child in church when we have a kick-butt children’s ministry 20 yards down the hall, now that I’m a parent, I have been given a nearly superhuman ability to focus despite the circumstance.

Ever considered going on a mission trip? I’ve never been and the topic comes up now and then. My wife is pretty stoked about the idea after we have the baby, but I am admittedly a bit apprehensive. My thoughts range from

• feeling unequipped (who is equipped, really?)
• language barriers (I always did want to learn Spanish)
• being too wrapped up in my own stuff (This is usually the biggest one to overcome)

Fortunately though, our friends Nathan and Amber Babcock are in Costa Rica doing the “real-life-missionary-thing.” They sold everything they owned and left last summer for at least two years & they are having a blast.

I mention their blog from the Costa Rican Mission field now and then because it is such a blessing to see how God works through people that simply obey his calling. Check it out – not only is it informative and uplifting, but it’s chock full of great videos and pics from the mission field in the highlands of Costa Rica.

Enjoy!

It’s great to see all these new faces in church on Sunday and surely some of them will find the truth they are seeking – I really believe that.

Any of you all have some New Year’s Resolutions? I’ll share mine.

My New Year’s Resolutions

1. Spend more time with the Lord – I’d like to spend at least a few minutes each day in quiet time with the Lord – getting still to hear him and talk to him. Missing out on this time is the source of most of my challenges. I sometimes look at my quiet time as something on my “to do” list, forgetting that God knows my every thought. Quiet time isn’t for his benefit, though he loves me and wants me to get to know him. Quiet time benefits me. Reading the Bible every day doesn’t benefit God – he inspired it. Getting into the word teaches me God’s will for my life and others.
2. Focus at Work – I have my job and my own personal projects. Both of which are closely related to the point where I have to keep a close watch on my research. Who is it benefiting? Working out of the house provides less structure so I need more discipline in this area. The result is that though I no longer commute to work, I am working longer hours to make up for time I spent working on my own projects here and there. That’s fine for single guys, but not for married ones with a pregnant wife that needs a back rub now and then.
3. Expand my Social Efforts – Working out of the house is a great blessing, but I find myself not getting out much other than meeting with the various small groups I’m a part of. I also just moved into a new neighborhood and need to take the initiative to meet some of my neighbors. Now that Christmas is over there are opportunities for a neighborhood-warming party. Since we live in an area that stays temperate during the Winter we might be able to swing a neighborhood barbecue.
4. Pouring out into others – I still am a “taker” so far as my relationship with Christ is concerned. What I mean by that is that I still think of myself as broken and that when I am fixed I can then help people. The truth is that we are not broken – Christ made us whole. I now need to go tell others and to pour out into their lives. This will take concerted effort from a guy who really enjoys private time but it’s why we’re all here.
5. Figure out my CR plans – I have been participating in Celebrate Recovery this past year and it has absolutely revolutionized my life. If you have problems with anything (Chemical, Sexual, Eating Disorders, Worry, Codependency/Guilt, Anger, etc.) I highly recommend finding a church in your area that is running these groups.

   My situation is that I have an opportunity to co-lead the next session of the group I am currently in for next year. I am dealing with some adequacy issues regarding my ability to be a good leader for them, but am also concerned with my new baby on the way. The Church is only about 30-40 minutes away, but it meets twice a week. When other people’s future is at stake, I would want to be as reliable of a servant/leader as possible.

   I also had some ideas for a web project regarding Celebrate Recovery and am bouncing that idea around as an alternative. It is something that hopefully would benefit others seeking freedom and may be aligned with my current skillset. I’m not sure which to do though. I remember the example about serving the Lord given by Naeem Fazal from Mosaic Church

   He asked for volunteers to help out with their new church and had someone come up to him and give him a resume which outlined their teaching abilities and gifts. He said that he would consider that when they got around to starting classes and asked the person if they would help for now on the facilities staff putting out chairs. The person got all weird and said that it wasn’t their gift.

   There lies the problem for myself an many believers. We get so excited about discovering our gifts and finding ways to put them to use, that we forget to be true servants. Christ will often have us step out into areas where it requires a bit of faith. Our gifts are then brought to light and put to use. Often there is some additional knowledge and growth required before our gifts can truly be put to use anyway.

6. Finish Side Projects – My mind runs a million miles a minute. I get all kinds of great ideas but have trouble finishing some. Granted there are only limited hours in a day so many ideas have to go into the queue for the “maybe I’ll pursue this or maybe not” but the ones I start on, I may as well finish. I’m also a bit of an information junkie which I need to throttle back on. I could have definitely become a professor if I wasn’t so interested in entrepreneurship and real-world marketing.

Simplifying the List of New Year’s Resolutions

That’s a pretty long list but remember those are my plans. The Lord knows what my plans should be so I’m really just going to focus on the first one and hope that he helps me with the rest.

If you feel so inclined, add your New Year’s Resolution to the bottom of this. It will be interesting to look back at New Year’s next year and how we fared.

Have a blessed New Year!!!