Okay, so I’m guessing this is more awkward for me jumping back on the blog but I watched this song probably a good 6-9 months ago and really dug it. If anyone reading this blog knows me on a super-personal level then you’d know Phil Wickham would probably not be an artist you’d find in my MP3… but the Lord works in mysterious ways. Between this, the next song & others, I’ve been blessed.

or if you’re one of those folks that don’t like the acoustic/live gig, try this one

And yes, I’m aware of the other versions. Jeff Buckley rocks & it’s a shame because he went way too soon. If you are a follower of Christ or even pondering that decision, it is easy to see the sincerity in what Phil is singing about.

or enjoy some live flavor – just fast forward a minute or two. Song hits at 3:00 but you want at least a 30 sec lead-in.

Our child usually sleeps through the night but had been waking up recently but we chalked it up to a hectic Holiday schedule… and apparently we also bought into the pervasively negative clanging gong of other parents who were telling us that we were “just lucky” (even though we took a class and worked very hard with our daughter to develop good sleeping habits) and that our luck would surely run out soon. They still have a chance to revel in our misery though, since we do plan on having a couple more kids

Our daughter has a great disposition and doesn’t cry unless she is tired or hungry, so who knows when we would have taken her to the doctor? When she ran a substantially high fever?

So we give praise to God that he can tip us off with things like rashes to uncover deeper problems. I have a friend that said they can give thanks for their current debilitating injury because it forced them to slow down and turn their heart truly over to the care of Christ.

This isn’t pollyanna, positive-thinking folks – we’re talking about a very real God, very real problems, and a long-term positive impact on people’s lives that takes a great deal of patience and maturity. I hope I can be half as faithful as my little baby in her trust of two newbie parents and as my friend who is lying on their couch praising god in their inmost thoughts

have a blessed day!

The 1st year of the builder’s warranty on my house is about to expire, so they’re fixing all the little things that cropped up as the home settles. One of those is the hardwood floors – was a loose board which could develop into a safety hazard over time.

My wife and I marked the floor so we knew which board to have them work on, but when when I heard the guy pull up for the appointment, I looked over and the tape was gone. My immediate thought was not nice – thought things like, “Wouldn’t you figure the one time a contractor shows up early…” and other “woe is me-isms”

He came in and for some reason the board wasn’t immediately obvious. The humidity had just dropped significantly so maybe the board settled back in. So I didn’t waste his trip (and look like an idiot), I scrambled around started knocking on the boards. In the process I found 3 other boards that needed to be fixed!

I’d like to tell you that I prayed some wonderful prayer like, “Jesus, please help me find this board so I don’t waste this guy’s trip” or “Jesus, please help my incessant whining,” but I didn’t. God helped me anyway and worked a series of circumstances so the house was fixed correctly.

Dedicating My Home to the Lord

Back when the house was built, we actually prayed a blessing over the plot. At the time I felt like a little silly, but you know what? Our house turned out awesome! Some of our neighbors had all kinds of problems but the builder did a nearly perfect job on ours. That certainly doesn’t reflect on my attention to detail or negotiating ability – I’m actually the guy who struggles with blowing up when conflict arises. I am 100% confident that the Lord helped us with this, when that wasn’t really our intention when we dedicated it.

What kind of prayer was it? I don’t remember for sure, but we walked around and prayed that this home would be set apart for the Lord’s work, and that he would give us wisdom to raise our children and entertain guests in a manner that would be pleasing to him and fulfill his purpose. We still have quite a ways to go in walking that out, but there’s time, and the Lord is patient.

Who cares about fixing hardwood…

Sure, this is a trivial situation, but isn’t that what 99% of life is in between those dramatic moments? God cares about everything, and no detail is too small for him – his ability to multitask is limitless So many times I put the “god part” of life in one bucket, and then there’s the “rest of life” bucket. God wants it all in one bucket and will show us how to dig through it.

So hopefully my story encourages you. God helps us even when we don’t ask (probably work out better if we did, though), and God always works things for good, even if we don’t understand the why or how. I’ve seen it in situations that immediately resolve, and I’ve seen it in situations that take years to unfold.

Have a blessed day!

I thought more about those feelings because it seemed like there was more God was trying to show me. A year or two ago, I quickly would have dismissed those thoughts of inadequacy as lies of the enemy. If the thoughts I was having were “you’re worthless,” “you’re a failure,” or “God can’t use you,” then perhaps that may be the case. The sadness I felt certainly wasn’t of God, but here’s a “what if,” for you.

What if God was pointing out my limitations in a forthright manner, but I then went on from there on my own power to wallow in self-pity? What if God shines the light on my accomplishments (or lack thereof) in times when I have been drifting from him? For some reason I was unable to shake off those feelings of inadequacy – was that because my faith in God was weak, or because God was making a point that I am dependent on him to carry out his plan for my life and those whose lives mine intersects with?

In the old days, shepherds would actually break the leg of lambs that consistently disobeyed their voice. This wasn’t because shepherds were sadistic, but rather because that was a very hostile environment to an essentially defenseless sheep. The shepherd would then literally carry the lamb on his back until the leg was healed. In that time, the lamb would learn the shepherd’s voice and also learn total dependence. Maybe this is a similar situation, but instead of breaking my leg, maybe God was merciful and just bruised my pride.

Yes… I struggle with pride, as I’m sure a few others out there do and if I brushed off those thoughts of failing in particular areas of my life as just “lies of the enemy,” maybe I’d keep going on in my life trying to do things according to my own plan and under my own power. What if sometimes, the voice saying “rah, rah, you can do it – you’re good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like you,” is actually deceiving words of the enemy of our very soul?

It’s something to consider at least, when empowerment is the “in thing” and the self-help section of my local book store seems to overtake nearby aisles like kudzu.

So, I’ll count this experience as a “praise report” along with a word of caution. Just because the words I’m hearing aren’t rosy and sweet, doesn’t mean that it’s a lie. I’d say the determining factor should be in testing any word to see if it is from God, is to

1. Make sure it aligns with the word of God. It may take some study so we’re not taking selected verses out of context.
2. What is the fruit? If the fruit of believing a particular thought is that I am drawn into a closer relationship with God, then that is good. If I’m separated, then it’s from the enemy.

Though I still find it irksome that some people are selfish enough to leave a screaming child in church when we have a kick-butt children’s ministry 20 yards down the hall, now that I’m a parent, I have been given a nearly superhuman ability to focus despite the circumstance.

Ever considered going on a mission trip? I’ve never been and the topic comes up now and then. My wife is pretty stoked about the idea after we have the baby, but I am admittedly a bit apprehensive. My thoughts range from

• feeling unequipped (who is equipped, really?)
• language barriers (I always did want to learn Spanish)
• being too wrapped up in my own stuff (This is usually the biggest one to overcome)

Fortunately though, our friends Nathan and Amber Babcock are in Costa Rica doing the “real-life-missionary-thing.” They sold everything they owned and left last summer for at least two years & they are having a blast.

I mention their blog from the Costa Rican Mission field now and then because it is such a blessing to see how God works through people that simply obey his calling. Check it out – not only is it informative and uplifting, but it’s chock full of great videos and pics from the mission field in the highlands of Costa Rica.

Enjoy!

It’s great to see all these new faces in church on Sunday and surely some of them will find the truth they are seeking – I really believe that.

Any of you all have some New Year’s Resolutions? I’ll share mine.

My New Year’s Resolutions

1. Spend more time with the Lord – I’d like to spend at least a few minutes each day in quiet time with the Lord – getting still to hear him and talk to him. Missing out on this time is the source of most of my challenges. I sometimes look at my quiet time as something on my “to do” list, forgetting that God knows my every thought. Quiet time isn’t for his benefit, though he loves me and wants me to get to know him. Quiet time benefits me. Reading the Bible every day doesn’t benefit God – he inspired it. Getting into the word teaches me God’s will for my life and others.
2. Focus at Work – I have my job and my own personal projects. Both of which are closely related to the point where I have to keep a close watch on my research. Who is it benefiting? Working out of the house provides less structure so I need more discipline in this area. The result is that though I no longer commute to work, I am working longer hours to make up for time I spent working on my own projects here and there. That’s fine for single guys, but not for married ones with a pregnant wife that needs a back rub now and then.
3. Expand my Social Efforts – Working out of the house is a great blessing, but I find myself not getting out much other than meeting with the various small groups I’m a part of. I also just moved into a new neighborhood and need to take the initiative to meet some of my neighbors. Now that Christmas is over there are opportunities for a neighborhood-warming party. Since we live in an area that stays temperate during the Winter we might be able to swing a neighborhood barbecue.
4. Pouring out into others – I still am a “taker” so far as my relationship with Christ is concerned. What I mean by that is that I still think of myself as broken and that when I am fixed I can then help people. The truth is that we are not broken – Christ made us whole. I now need to go tell others and to pour out into their lives. This will take concerted effort from a guy who really enjoys private time but it’s why we’re all here.
5. Figure out my CR plans – I have been participating in Celebrate Recovery this past year and it has absolutely revolutionized my life. If you have problems with anything (Chemical, Sexual, Eating Disorders, Worry, Codependency/Guilt, Anger, etc.) I highly recommend finding a church in your area that is running these groups.

   My situation is that I have an opportunity to co-lead the next session of the group I am currently in for next year. I am dealing with some adequacy issues regarding my ability to be a good leader for them, but am also concerned with my new baby on the way. The Church is only about 30-40 minutes away, but it meets twice a week. When other people’s future is at stake, I would want to be as reliable of a servant/leader as possible.

   I also had some ideas for a web project regarding Celebrate Recovery and am bouncing that idea around as an alternative. It is something that hopefully would benefit others seeking freedom and may be aligned with my current skillset. I’m not sure which to do though. I remember the example about serving the Lord given by Naeem Fazal from Mosaic Church

   He asked for volunteers to help out with their new church and had someone come up to him and give him a resume which outlined their teaching abilities and gifts. He said that he would consider that when they got around to starting classes and asked the person if they would help for now on the facilities staff putting out chairs. The person got all weird and said that it wasn’t their gift.

   There lies the problem for myself an many believers. We get so excited about discovering our gifts and finding ways to put them to use, that we forget to be true servants. Christ will often have us step out into areas where it requires a bit of faith. Our gifts are then brought to light and put to use. Often there is some additional knowledge and growth required before our gifts can truly be put to use anyway.

6. Finish Side Projects – My mind runs a million miles a minute. I get all kinds of great ideas but have trouble finishing some. Granted there are only limited hours in a day so many ideas have to go into the queue for the “maybe I’ll pursue this or maybe not” but the ones I start on, I may as well finish. I’m also a bit of an information junkie which I need to throttle back on. I could have definitely become a professor if I wasn’t so interested in entrepreneurship and real-world marketing.

Simplifying the List of New Year’s Resolutions

That’s a pretty long list but remember those are my plans. The Lord knows what my plans should be so I’m really just going to focus on the first one and hope that he helps me with the rest.

If you feel so inclined, add your New Year’s Resolution to the bottom of this. It will be interesting to look back at New Year’s next year and how we fared.

Have a blessed New Year!!!

Some of Nathan and Amber’s friends kidded them about their choice of mission field since Costa Rica has become a trendy vacation spot in recent years.There won’t be much surfing going on down there, though.

Besides them being deep in the mountains and not on the beach, Latin America is a tough mission field. There is widespread poverty throughout, violence in some parts, and a lack of many basic needs such as quality health care. There is also cultural bigotry down there between the local Costa Ricans and those from El Salvador who left during political conflicts.

There is also a large gap between many people down there and God. Local Christian pastors report that while many in Latin America claim Catholicism as their religion, it is in religion (routine) only. In many cases, Catholic symbols are often mixed with local pagan beliefs and the message of Christ is subordinated to worship of idols.

I remember watching videos in college about the mix of religions. I wasn’t following God back then but still thought it seemed fishy. I would either buy into a belief system 100% or not. Either you’re a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or whatever. Mixing them doesn’t make sense.

In the Christian belief system, altering the word of God is creating our own religion. That, of course, is idolatry. Even athiests know “Wishy-washy-ness” doesn’t work in any other part of life. It sure wouldn’t apply to the creator of the entire universe. Unfortunately there are some people in our own town that are seeking to whitewash the word of God with “modern” human understanding.

OK… I got sidetracked for a minute. I really encourage you to check out Nathan and Amber’s Costa Rica mission blog. It is great to see behind the scenes of real-life missionaries to know that they aren’t super-human. They just believe in a God who is.

I look around now and see people much younger than me doing far more with their lives. That isn’t the truth – but comparisons shaded by personal bias is just one of the reasons why God doesn’t want us comparing ourselves to others. Besides, it leads to coveting. That sin usually just hurts ourselves, but could lead to hurting others emotionally or physically.

Do you have “Lost Years”?

Do you Have “Lost” Years?

For now the best thing we can do is to remember that God has a future and plan for us.

“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

These aren’t backup plans, either. God didn’t say, “Wow, I had no idea he would screw that up… I’d better go to plan B!”

God is in past, present, and future. When he says that he has plans to prosper us, those plans existed with his full knowledge of the precise path we would take in life. Weird to think, huh?

So, what do we do to restore those lost years? Work twice as hard? We do need to work dilligently, because proverbs backs up the notion that dilligence will bring prosperity. However, the precise method by which our lives will be restored may be a bit different than most of us may imagine.

25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm —
my great army that I sent among you.
Joel 2:25

God spoke these words to the Jewish people through the prophet Joel to bring God’s people to repentance.

That is such a powerful verse for those whose life has been sabotaged by themselves or external forces. Do not worry. God has a plan that exceeds all we could ask or imagine, and to him will be the glory.

Memorize Joel 2:25 and keep it close to your heart. Have a blessed day!

I was leaving Celebrate Recovery a couple weeks ago and was pretty down on myself for various things so I left before the post-meeting desserts and socializing. I felt a prompting to stay, but I sold myself the excuse that my wife wasn’t feeling well so I was going to see her. She is in the “wiped out” phase of pregnancy where a couple flights of stairs or a substantially-sized sandwich is enough to get her winded. Nonetheless, I was just being dishonest with myself.

On my way home I came up on a motorcycle cop who was going below the speed limit. I moved around to pass, which was my first mistake. Never pass a police officer.

1. Because he probably knows the speed limit better than I do
2. I’ve known many police officers since my alma mater had a huge police admin/counter-terrorism program, and nearly every police officer (or any person, really) has a bit of an ego problem

I happened to meet a police officer who met both of those criteria. I tried to get over since my exit was coming up, and he kept right off my bumper so I couldn’t get over. I sped up a bit, and he sped up. It was like in “Race for your Life Charlie Brown where Charlie and Peppermint Patty are doing something like a coin toss, but instead each keeps moving their hands up the baseball bat until one gets to the top. (Anyone remember what that game is called?) Instead of just stomping on my brakes, I kept up at this game until I went over the magical limit.

“Berry Flashing Those High Beams…”

Yup, I got pulled over. I didn’t even think about my speed, just about this guy who wouldn’t let me over. The officer was then rediculously rude to me even though I was very polite on the side of the road. This was a bit ironic, because I had just been sharing (bragging, really) a few days before about how I almost always got out of tickets when I got pulled over. Since that brief and passing conversation with a friend came to mind almost immediately after the police officer walked back to his bike, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Lord kept me from having favor in that situation to learn a more important lesson. Stuff like that happened in the Old Testament. I bet it still does.

1. Keep my mouth shut when I don’t get what I deserve and enjoy God’s blessing instead of taking credit.
2. Don’t look at speed limits as something I can push. Since I have a kid on the way it’s a lesson I’ll have to learn sooner than later. It’s a bit funny since the kids in my family mercilessly rode my Dad about how little old ladies walking on the side of the road passed our car on the highway. Dad, I officially and sincerely apologize (lol)

Back to my meltdown… I was absolutely furious with that cop and I proceded to let it ruin my entire weekend. It was obvious at my next men’s group that I still had some unforgiveness issues. I also hadn’t fully come to grips with my own fault in the matter. I then took responsibility when talking to the guys in group.

Did that cop intentionally do something wrong? I strongly believe so, since we were the only two cars on the road. Should he have done that as an officer of the peace? No.

Better questions should be asked, though.

• Is he a human? Yes.
• Is he a sinner? Yes.
• Then, why do I judge him when the Lord has forgiven me? Uh…

It was wrong for me to break the law even if I felt baited into it. I should have slowed down – my fault 100%. I also should not hold anyone else to a higher standard than myself.

Our Pastor talked about money management this weekend and said that ultimately no one else is truly worried about our welfare other than us. He didn’t say that to discount the good intentions of loved ones, but rather to make the point that we have to accept responsibility for our actions. No matter what someone else does (or doesn’t do) to us, we are solely accountable to man and God.

I forgave the police officer. Hopefully people have forgiven me when I abused a position of power or level of trust. Jesus did, and so I must do the same. This finally clicked in my heart. I had been finally dealing with some issues of frustration regarding people in my past. Now I really felt that I could forgive them. Even if people did me 100% wrong, why do I think that they wouldn’t? We are all sinners worthy of death on the cross. Fortunately Jesus took that fate for us.

Takeaway…

Do you have some unforgiveness in your heart because of a falsely-held set of standards that other people should live by? I think we all do at some point in our lives, and have to keep fighting the lies of the enemy when people inevitably dissapoint us. It starts with complaining and builds from there, so be watchful.

Repentance for Unforgiveness and Pride

I went up during our time of worship to ask for prayer from some elders in the area of unforgiveness and pride and it really cemented what the Lord placed in my heart. I can’t even tell you how much Celebrate recovery has done in all areas in my life. It has been a long road since March/April, but it has been a relatively easy ride thanks to the power of God and the help of my friends in Christ.

Instead of paying the ticket I went to court to plead guilty – nice lesson in humility. Besides, I heard they knock down the ticket if you show up in person. The concept didn’t make much sense to me at first, since I figured that not going to court saves the county money. Then, I considered that much government work is really a jobs program. Court was a breeze – I showed up in court in a suit and got mistaken by the baliff for a lawer (hee hee!) and nearly got to skirt the metal detectors. I was in the courtroom for about 2 minutes, met a nice guy in lline when paying my fine, and sure enough the trial officer cut my points and fine in half if I could pay that day. Ka-ching!

To recap, the “formula” of how God helped me release unforgiveness and pride

1. Honesty with self
2. Admitting my wrongs to God and to another person (my men’s group)
3. Asking God to remove my shortcomings (pride and unforgiveness)
4. Being obedient to God’s way of righting the wrong (showing up in court)
5. Support from others through prayer
6. Maintenance (keep free from criticism and negative conversations)

In the end, my wallet was $77 dollars lighter, driving record is two points heavier. When I think about it though, learning how to release unforgiveness and pride and having an opportunity to help someone short-cut my mistakes in life is a lesson I would probably pay for again.

Have a blessed day.