How Long Does it Take to Break a Habit or Addiction?
I always hear the statistic that it takes six weeks to make or break a habit. That may be true in cases like turning off the porch light in the morning, but I haven’t had the same success in life when it came to overcoming various destructive habits of mine.
Often I gut it out through those six weeks only to either give up, or quit that habit but replace it with something just as bad. I likened the experience to a stress-ball. I squeeze it really hard in my hand, and it may even squeeze through my fingers. Did the material in the stress ball dissappear? Nope. What happens when I release the ball? It all goes back right where it was before.
Compulsive and/or destructive habits seem to work in the same way. Why does it seem that every time we identify a bad behavior in our life and work to chop it down, that another takes it’s place almost immediately?
That is because we are attacking the evidence that there is a problem, not the problem itself. Identifying the root issue takes time, but it is well worth it. When I say “time”, I’m talking about anywhere from a year or more.
That’s correct – to truly break the root cause of your destructive habits or addictions will take at least one year. Don’t despair though, because that can and will be a very good thing.
When I went to my first Celebrate Recovery meeting, they said that the program involved 2 meetings a week for a year. I nearly ran out of the room! I was thinking it would be a 6-8 week class, and I’d be “healed”. I’m a pretty smart guy and a quick study – surely there would be some shortcut, right?
God had a different plan with no shortcuts, and I’m glad I stuck with it. I’ve finally understood the spiritual issues behind why I do what I do, and how to let God use and change me. I still struggle, but it’s way better than it used to be. Best of all, there is real hope that not just my life will be different, but that my current child and any future siblings’ lives will be different. The same sin issues passed from generation to generation will stop here. Of course sin will still rear it’s ugly head and they’ll have struggles, but they’ll be different ones.
So I wanted to be totally up-front before we start on this path to recovery – give it a year and you will see a dramatic difference. My 12-step group probably had 25 people participate, but we ended with 5 people.
The cool part about the web is that you may be starting this journey a year after I write this, but it won’t matter. However, don’t think you can read all my posts for a shortcut to freedom. It doesn’t work that way.
The best advice I could give would be to join a Biblically-based 12-step group and get plugged in. Also stop by this site to share your experiences as you work towards submitting your life to Christ; allowing him to break the bonds of whatever habit or addiction you are facing today.
Dear Matt,
Wonderful blog you have! I greatly appreciate your courage to share this post with the world.I enjoyed reading through your posts. I pray that God will expand His boundaries using your blog as a tool.
~Sidharth
TWJ Ministries
http://www.yeshua.co.nr
PS: I come from a hindu faith, met the Lord Jesus at the age of 9 when He healed me of cancer of the bone/muscle- and I have been growing in the faith ever since.
Sidharth,
thanks for sharing your testimony – God is great!
Hi,
I was searching for a place to talk about my addiction to pain killers, but would also discuss God. I was saved in last year and was released from my addiction though God’s love and grace. It was so exciting to see things thru a new set of eyes and have a true love for life like when I was kid. I was attending a bible study group, going to church every week, starting to fom good relationships with members of the church, having private sessions with my pastor and reading the bible constantly, I was eager to learn as much as possible.
This summer I switched jobs and could not attend bible study anymore, started going away on the weekends and gradually drifted from the church. I tryed to keep in touch with my “friends” thru email, but they were different to me, being a new christian I had alot of questions and at that time I was going through some stuff and really needed someone to listen. I would explain my situation and ask for their christian advice, would talk about scriptures asking them what they meant or how to use them in my life, they would not return my emails, like they were turing their back on me. This really hurt me, here they are church members and always talking about how they need to support new christians, but when I really needed them-they were’nt there.
I started to feel they did not want me in their church (they suggested I try out other churches)- It took alot for me to go somewhere and tell my story – truthfully – and became the token drug addict. This is the church I attended when I was child and girls that I knew from my youth group did not make me feel welcome, they would not even say hi to me. I could tell in their eyes (she’s the druggie)
My question to everyone is has anyone else experienced this?
It hurts me that God’s people cannot support each other, I expected to be shown alittle compassion. I guess to be welcome in this church you already have to be perfect in their eyes, people trying to learn about God and still have some issues are not welcome. I kept asking for months if I could become a member and was continually told I would be contacted thru mail. 11 months later and still have not received anything.
The world is tough enough, I thought the church was some sort of refuge.
Another question I have : has anyone experienced “clickyness” when trying to find a church?
Hi Kimberly,
Thanks for sharing about your addiction. Being open is a great step and it looks like you’ve gone well past that first step by growing in your faith. While I don’t know your specific situation, I can tell you with 100% confidence that
People suck – that includes “church people” and non. That’s one of the biggest paradigm shifts I had to encounter, was that going to church and growing closer to Christ would not turn me into a perfect person – or even close. The Lord says that we are a work in progress, but even then we will never be like Christ. That’s the whole reason we need this relationship with God – because we were never meant to do this alone. It was always supposed to be a partnership.
I’m very sorry that you were let down by that church, but it’s good you found out their “suckiness” early. This way you can move on. Even if you have the pills beat, there is probably a great deal of residual gunk in your life that led to that issue. If you remotely agree with that, then I encourage you to check out celebraterecovery.com and see if any churches in or near your town have a CR program.
I have 1/2 a bajillion posts on this blog that talk about what Jesus Christ has done in my life via Celebrate Recovery, and I invite you to check a couple out – just type that in the search form in the upper right, and you’ll find far more that you want to read.
I also encourage you to get back on the horse and put yourself out there again with a new church. Look for one that has classes for new believers – Alpha is a great class as well that is done in a small group fashion across the nation and around the world. You don’t even have to be a “member” of these churches to do the classes.
Another tip I received once was to start serving, even if I am new in the faith. Sure, I may not be able to do much as far as building others in knowledge, but I can do numerous tasks for Christ to serve others. If I’m serving, then it is rare that I notice when others screw me over. I haven’t been very good at trying this out, but I hear it works
I’ll be praying for you Kimberly that God will help you get plugged into the body and give you the courage to keep moving forward. It’s all about Jesus.
Hi! I just stumbled across your website and read your post and Kimberly’s reply. What a coincidence I too have struggled with pain killer addiction on and off for the last 10 years-ugh. Just typing that makes me realise how much time it’s been. Anyway, after giving birth to my 15 month old they of course put me on percocet in the hospital, which was monitered by the nurses, I went home and no issues…until about 3 weeks later I got an infection from breast feeding and was put on vicodin and then percocet and after 9 months sober I was (as they say in the program..lol) ‘off to the races’. I started getting a supply from a friend who gets ridiculous amounts, then also found a dr who was willing to prescribe oxy for my ‘back pain’ (sometimes real). Anyway, being the super smart addict that I am, I decided that I had this thing figured out. I have come off a physical oxy addiction…NO FUN…so decided I will do this the ’smart’ way and do 3 days on…4 days off…4 days on…3 days off…party because I knew it wouldn’t get me physically addicted but also because my tolerance has gotten so high that they rarely last longer than that anyway, no matter how many I get. Anyway, that brings me to today, my frustration is that: I have done the AA/NA thing, not for me. I called my insurance yesterday and the nurse I spoke with could literally not fathom the fact that I am psychologically very addicted to pain killers, but not physically. So she was super rude and I hung up on her. I am not involved in a church and do not necessarily consider myself a Christian, although I suppose being raised in the church I lean more towards Christianity…I don’t know but I really liked what you had to say and I need help this is starting to take a real toll on my relationship and I know it will affect my daughter and probably already does. I need help!
Great write up till you get to the biblical part. I figured I would continue to read cause aside from the book savior you sounded like you might have something up your sleeve. Then you said it…. CHRIST! Good stuff!
The Word of God. That is Christ. Praise the Lord for the Word of God. That is Christ! No Books only the real thing. Yeshua the one and only word of God!
@ Rachel – I am 100% ashamed I haven’t been checking these comments. Hopefully you subscribed to them and get this but if not I pray the next person identifying with yours or any other scenarios check out http://www.celebraterecovery.org/ and find a meeting near you.
If you do not find one or it doesn’t work out – I want you to tell me!!! (I mean this in a good & non-creepy way).
Sometimes the issue is me & not the group…. sometimes it is the group because we are all people and the group sometimes follows the leader even if they’re bad. And of course sometimes groups just aren’t available.
@ James
Ha Ha – GOTCHA w/ the Jesus card.
Yeah bro, without Christ, nothing is possible.
wow all i can say is i landed on this site for a reason.
Im addicted to food-there i said it out loud, for so long now i have let food control me and my life.. i really have had enough and cant take it anymore.
God is a big part of my life but i know if you pray without wanting the outcome, it wont work.
i am hurting my body and letting only myself down. maybe it all is just a comfort thing but its taken over. reading the above made me cry, i have tried so many times to let this go and gain control and have never gotten thro a week.. and when i saw it will take up to a year.. i was in shock.
One day at a time right?
but the thought of being in contorl and happy is so wanting.
i now know that i want the outcome and feel ready to make the change to a healthy life style, and i know God will be with me every step of the way, all i need to do is ask.
God is good and life is beautiful. i will do my best to not fail myself and keep my focus.
Thank you all for your stories!
God bless