What do you Worry About?
There are two camps of worriers.
- Those that do what we think of when we think of worrying. They look scared & timid. They do the cartoon bit of chewing off fingernails like they’re a typewriter. They can’t make a decision and bungle situations they would normally nail. I have been this person.
- The others are those that seem quite confident as they blaze through situations. Doesn’t work out like they wanted it to? They start barking orders and “make it happen.” I have also been this person
The American culture values #2. The only problem is that #2 is handled just as wrong as #1 is in most situations. I never realized I was a worrier because I didn’t act fearful when things weren’t working out as I wanted. I got angry.
What I didn’t realize is that most anger is just another expression of fear. Yeah, yeah, Jesus got angry, but I’d better man up if I’m going to pull the JC comparison.
So, what leads you to worry? Go ahead and share in the comments because it will make you feel better - c’mon, there are about 500 people a day that read this blog and less than 1% share. Step over the line. Be anonymous, even.
I’ll go first
- Will I be able to raise my daughter in a way where she is given the best opportunity to live a live that honors the Lord and is a blessing to others? Since I rarely do either, I’m not sure how this is going to be passed on
- Career - My wife is feeling a very strong calling to reduce her hours at work as we enter this new phase of parenting. She is an important contribution to the family financially in such a way that I have no idea how this is going to work out. Of course I only have to search my own blog to find situations where the Lord has done far more than I could imagine in the financial realms, so why am I worrying?
- Will I ever beat these addictions? - I’ll blog more on this later but I have had the wrong mindset about my struggles. I look at it like “let’s fix this and that and that and then things will be okay and I’ll be a better person.” After 2+ years in 12-step, I’m thinking something different. Not saying Paul’s thorn in his side was anything more than a physical pain, but let me take a little liberty here. Could I be okay with struggling with X and Y the rest of my life? I’m not saying giving in, but just being tempted. Paul talked about doing what he didn’t want to do and he was pretty much the “superman” of the New Testament. His major downfall came before his ministry unlike almost every other person of the OT and NT. Even if I was never able to say, “I struggled with this 10 years but I’ve been clean for 30″, would God still be glorified if I could say, “I struggled with this 40 years but God still forgave me and I’m here today in such gratitude?” Check the scriptures for what is said about the person to whom much is forgiven.
- Being a “success” - I am incredibly competitive. Unfortunately I went after the world definition of success and I see it reinforced every time I watch a golf tournament or even get online w/ friends. My life will not be a success when I have enough so that I don’t have to worry or even have enough to cover worst-case situations. My success does not lie in the state of my marriage, the wellness of my kids, the status of my employment or even how many times I went on mission trips. My good works are filthy rags to the Lord. That is sometimes hard to understand but it is a heart issue. If I am glorifying the Lord in what I do, it doesn’t matter if I am preaching a sermon, picking up trash in the park, or sitting on a park bench. If I am not glorifying the Lord in what I do, it does not matter if I am preaching a sermon, picking up trash…
I worry about death and pain. My own and also others. I know I am not unique in this. I feel as though I live my life in a state of fear. This sounds dramatic (and my life isn’t particularly). What I mean is there is always an undercurrent of fear carrying my life and its decisions along. This fear can be described as a counterbalance, a tug of war. One side is happiness and saftey and also relief and a sense of gratitude with my lot. The other is a sense of impending fear of the inevitable pain of what is sure to come. It has only been of late that I have truly recognised and acknowledged this state of being, this pull between two forces, but I am sure it has been with me for a very long time.
K, thank you for your honesty. You’re so right in everything you’ve said and I hope more people come to recognize this in their lives.
I worry about the same. My fear of pain (not so much the death part) led me through a complicated web of compulsive behaviors and crutches so I could avoid it.
My wife and I have recently started “back at the basics” in our walk with the Lord because we’ve gotten so wrapped up in what we considered the day-to-day living that we forgot what this is all about.
Live is about God - and I don’t mean that in some lame, “christian cliche” kind-of-way. When my perspective is on him and that my life was created for his will and pleasure, my life changes - I’m less concerned with my part of the equation and my entire perspective has to change. Not that it does, necessarily, but I’m forced to make that decision.
What does the cross mean to me, and even though this isn’t resonating in my heart to the point I’m ready to sell all my possessions and live in Africa, do I really GET the gospel and what happened on the cross to the point I can get out of my own head?
That was a very long sentence, but I wanted you to know we all struggle with this. I think we’re supposed to, really. We’re supposed to eventually find out this life is broken and that we are because we were never meant to carry these burdens on our own. Guess what I’m saying is you’re right there, K. I’m excited for you and I don’t even know you. Just think about what God sees in you - he’s the one that created you, after all